Beyonce once said, the best revenge is your paper.
I disagree.
The best revenge is how you redistribute your paper AFTER you’ve invested in yourself first.
One of the most damaging stigmas in Stripping is how we’re conditioned to have pride or see value in the work we do solely based on being a top earner.
And who can blame us?! We spend very long hours in very tall shoes being of physical and emotional service to very confused men,
Men who even in their most gracious and generous states only ever partially respect the magic we bring to their lives…
So naturally, after working a job that even the beneficiaries of your services don’t fully respect, never-mind society,
Often times, the only way to feel seen and validated is to yell on the top of your fucking lungs in the one language everyone understands and respects:
Money.
Now, before I continue, let’s get one thing straight-
I love money.
I love buying fancy salt, traveling the world and treating my girlfriend to bougie steak dinners.
Even more so,
I love the freedom money gives me.. to go hard after my dreams and support the communities / causes I believe in.
So please, don’t get it twisted-
I don’t believe that striving toward financial goals and feeling ourselves once we’ve accomplished them is wrong.
HOWEVER,
I do believe that we should be cautious against the trappings of patriarchal capitalism as the end all, be all in proving we are deserving and worthy of respect.
This job’s earning potential has the ability to completely change lives. It did mine.
But it wasn’t until I finally stopped internalizing my earnings as merits of worthiness that I stopped feeling in competition with others.
Which led me to save more, invest in my dreams and understand just how healing and transformational our spending power can be.
For our communities and for ourselves.
The moral of the story is, if you really want to get revenge on the patriarchy, invest in yourself first
and then,
Redistribute the money you’re going to spend anyway, that you’ve likely earned from men (and in my case, white men) and give it to Women / Sex Worker / LGBTQ / POC / Immigrant workers, services and businesses.
Happy Hustling, Xxo- Val