Ghosts of Posts Past
I started my instagram account in 2014 after years of living out of one suitcase while galavanting around the globe. What began as a dalliance for the sake of showbiz (I was new to Vegas, building my career as a burlesque sensation, and all the kids were doing it) evolved into a long term relationship that has outlasted a marriage and two careers.
As I revisit the ghosts of posts past, from 2014 to six months ago (my last post) what comes to mind is, HOLY SHIT I’VE CHANGED. And what’s changed is my relationship to myself.
Five years ago I started going to therapy twice a month and practicing daily meditation and journaling. Nine months ago, after a diagnosis for both a lumbar injury and an auto immune disease I started yoga. Collectively these practices have led to many life changes. Particularly deep spiritual excavations that have unveiled the many ways I had learned to survive by minimizing, chronically compartmentalizing, and dissociating via busyness. Coping skills that have undoubtedly kept me (somewhat) sane, but now, no longer serve me.
What’s really liberating about processing and healing trauma is the permission it grants you to let go. Letting go has led me to living more simply, prioritizing relationships that are joyous and reciprocal, and truly resting. For the first time since… since maybe ever, I am no longer existing at the mercy of society’s #hustleharder culture.
I say all this fully recognizing that my story and the way I’ve chosen to go about healing is what’s been right for me. I’m sharing, not preaching.
I also want to be clear that I still love and stand for many of the same things. i.e: sex workers’ human and labor rights and ice cream as a food group.
I don’t believe in disavowing who I was or the work I’ve done just because I’m older, healthier, and a bit wiser now. It’s all relevant and I feel grateful that I get to share it with y’all.
Thank you to everyone who has been here with me. I’m going to be archiving a lot of my older posts and blogs on my website to make room for all the new topics and ideas I’m looking to explore. Xxo, Val