Hi, I’m Val. I am a former internet thot and recovering social media personality. I took the entirety of 2024 (an election year!) off of...

I’d tell customers a partial truth, that my bare ass was sensitive and if they wanted me to get close they’d have to

First responders, like 98% of people I’ve entertained often came for the titties and stayed for the connection. It’s a group of people I was

The bite was subtle, and if it weren’t for the captain ogling each of our rods I would have missed it. I don’t know if it was the soft...

Someone who was trying to sell me something once, paid me a compliment by saying I was a weapon. Having built an entire career out of...

After thirteen years of professional thotting- across 3 continents, 4 countries,10 states, 17 cities, and 37 clubs- I have officially...

Teetering on the kind of hysteria that only blaring trap music in an empty strip club can incite, I grabbed a blanket from VIP and...

I don’t Jeopardy often but when I do I am instantly transported to 1991-1992, when I was about 6 to 7 years old. The game show takes me...

After a thorough expedition through the metaverse I am happy to report that I did not half ass it. No. If there’s one thing about me, it...

We were dying a slow death in the back of our ride-share. Our condition, post-thanksgiving agita. Slumped in a pile of gastro-intestinal...

I sat in silence at the kitchen table in awe of my purple and blue legs as the night’s tequila shots slowly wore off. My knees and shins...

There should be a Nobel Prize for well executed Irish exits. While they seem to really grate on some people’s nerves I’m positive they’re...

By year three of grinding on dudes for dollars I had had enough shitty experiences with civilians (both customers and not) that had...

If you haven’t read Part 1, I recommend doing so before continuing. Cheers! When I first started writing this piece I thought it was only...

I took a break at work recently and was bombarded with a Tik Tok that gave me, what I can only describe in my best Jersey I-talian accent...

I am naturally and quite possibly genetically gifted with a massive ego. After all I come from flamboyantly bombastic stock, with equal...

I have often considered myself the McDonalds of strippers. Particularly when hustling in Las Vegas. My particular skillset and emotional...

I spent the last few years engaging less with the internet, and all it led to was a whole new perspective on life. Shocking, I know. I...