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  • Valerie Stunning

Lap Dance Diatribe

A smug arms dealer in town for a trade show (balls deep in single malts & bad cocaine) once mansplained his theory on success as I dry humped the cost of my commercial ice cream machine to fruition. 

When he neared the end of his diatribe, he said: “If you make enough money no one will ever give a fuck about the world you come from.” 

Now. I have a thought, or five on that statement (but you can read more in my eventual memoir...) 

Though I will say this:

The world I come from is one, where many of us in it, are forced to hide what we do because it isn’t safe to be out. 

Our families disown us, our kids get taken away from us and should we choose to leave Sex Work, it’s impossible to put our job experience on a resume, making it impossible to gain respectable reentry to civilian jobs, if hired at all.

That and,

Goddess forbid we should ever need to depend on the law for protection-

Because the reality is just by working our jobs we are at higher risk to experience violence-

We are victim blamed and in far too many cases mistreated by the very “authorities” meant to protect & serve us. 

So as one of the privileged few who can be out,

Why on earth, after years of sacrifice-

Busting my ass, shouting my 2 cents and in turn getting uninvited to many tables (again, more on that in said memoir...) Would I ever see it as a perk to have people forget the world I came from? 


I’m here to honor ALL of the resilient Queens who’ve come before me, have been forgotten, work beside me and are yet to come.

I’m here to build monuments celebrating our culture and ALL it inspires.

In spite of the years of injustice and degradation I’ve witnessed... I’ve experienced. 

Because I reject the notion that Sex Work isn’t a valid contribution to our society. 

I reject that criminalized workers have to live in fear of their lives on a daily basis just for putting food on their table.

I reject that non-criminalized workers are grossly exploited, bullied and discriminated against by their employers. 

I reject that the world doesn’t give a fuck about us unless we make enough money. 


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