How To Ace Your Stripper Hustle
Congratulations! You've been successfully showing up for at least 6 months and have officially reached Baby Stripper status.
There have been good nights, great nights aaaand not so great nights. You proudly bought that (insert here: frivolous luxury item expertly marketed so that you might value yourself based on the ability to purchase it) in celebration of your first BIG girl night, and then begrudgingly returned it to pay your rent after a month long, inexplicable drought of generous rain makers.
We've all been there.
Your bad bitch crown, aligned with your self worth, may or may not have teetered in accordance to said nights- So you are now obsessed with honing the ultimate B O S S attitude in order to keep your blessings bountiful. *Cue DJ Kaled's ubiquitous, "We the best"
But how?! We all have our rituals, superstitions, and life mantras that we feel lend themselves to a solid hustler's finesse, and they are as unique as they are deeply personal.
The ol' lucky garter belt.
But that's a discussion for another day. Wa, Wa, WAAAAAAAAA. What doesn't contribute to a B O S S attitude is: Callousness, Pettiness, Defamation, Maliciousness, Ignorance, and few of you will admit this, BUT sadly, most of us have at some point been guilty of (in varying degrees) SLUT SHAMING. And that's naming a few....
I get by with a little (or A LOT of) help from my friends. Photo: Jack Odanovich
When civilians (usually either ignorant to how trite this question is or looking to fetishize inter-female drama) ask: "Do y'all really get along?" I like to take a big swig of tequila to distract from my uncontrollable eye roll before answering with an emphatic, "DUHHHHHHH! There is nothing but camaraderie and respect between us babes because we all value a fun work environment as much as a sexy one!"
And I genuinely do believe that. The Stripperverse IS often a fun work environment in addition to being a sexy one and the camaraderie between it's strippers is a main contributor to it remaining so.
LOVE MY STRIPPER SISTERS!
When we are mindful of how our attitudes and actions affect one another and translate to the club's vibe, we send a powerful message: That we are supportive and empathetic to the unique situational issues within our industry, AND That although we may be "independent contractors" we are not alone. I don't know about y'all, but feeling alone has never helped me embody that hustler finesse and I find great solace in our sisterhood. Regardless of whether we're friends outside of work or not, our respect and solidarity within the club is everything.
Everything that's right in the world.
I'd like to welcome all of the Baby Strippers to this fabulous world of pussy empowerment! Please remember that when it comes to your success there are many contributing factors. I promise through trial, error and constant reinvention to your approach- YOU WILL learn what works for you and I can guarantee it will never come as a result of being shitty to a colleague. After all, REAL QUEENS FIX EACH OTHERS CROWNS. Happy Hustling, Xxo Val