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  • Valerie Stunning

Be A Bad Bitch On A Bad Night

You are not the sum of your night's earnings. I REPEAT,  You are not the sum of your night's earnings.

Our validity as bad bitches may result from our resourcefulness, strength of character and killer instincts (to list a few) AND Our embodiment of said attributes may be amplified when the universe and our hustle are perfectly aligned, But even still, You are not the sum of your night's earnings. From the best days, When it feels like every pussy-worshiping baller, with a pocket full of cash, is dying to spend time with you and you're literally turning people down because there simply isn't enough time for them all... To the worst days, When it feels like every entitled AF baller on a budget is stealing your time and you can barely pay back your house fee after working an impossibly long shift...

YOU ARE NOT THE SUM OF YOUR NIGHT'S EARNINGS. Before stripping, one of the many jobs I held was as a customer service rep for a home remodeling company. *Let's liken it to a North Jersey version of the Tool-Time Girl (pre-Baywatch Pam Anderson, anyone?!) There I learned to anticipate the mood of the sales team based on where their previous weeks closings ranked. If their numbers were high it was a show room full of composed, Bruce Banner types and if low, they were raging fucking Hulks. It was my first professional grasp on how emotional money can be. Particularly when allof your earnings result from how well you build/pitch the perceived value of your product to a perfect stranger who is already predisposed to not trusting you. SO, if the two are so intrinsically entwined, how the the fuck do we not let this shit get to us?!! It's different for everyone, but here's what I like to do. First, I remind myself the one absolute truth about this job. Regardless of the "it only takes one" mantra, sometimes you will eat the bear and sometimes it will eat you and there will be no rhyme or reason for it. It's just the nature of sales. Then, I practice. Even after 6 years I still practice managing my expectations about the money I will earn and my reactions (especially on those super lit nights) to that which I've earned. I do this at the beginning and end of every shift. Sidenote: Yes, have your goals, but allow them to be fluid. *I find this is much easier when you spend wisely and $ave. AND Yes, totally feel yourself after a profitable day but also have something you can equally, if not more than celebrate yourself for. Something that has nothing to do with hustling. *Whatever it is (maybe you're a bomb ass scrabble player or a rad grand-daughter) bring it to mind when you're doing your final count. By repeatedly doing this it helps to keep the ego in check and limit the power them Benjamins or lack there of can have on us.

Finally, DO NOT compare yourself to other Strippers. Easier said then done, especially when that salty inner voice starts saying "All the babes are popping endless bottles in VIP and I haven't even done one dance, therefore they must be doing it right and I must be doing it wrong." Just remember, we all take turns sitting on the sidelines (even the most seasoned vets amung us) and commiseration and camaraderie are key to the sisterhood vibes. Though the thrill of the hunt and it's subsequent rush of adrenaline that comes from closing, will always be powerful, by practicing self empathy and reminding ourselves of the things we excel at outside of hustling- on all nights- we reduce its power over our identities. Because, WE ARE NOT THE SUM OF OUR NIGHT'S EARNINGS. Happy Hustling! xxo, Val


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