• Valerie Stunning

A Complete Twerk Around the Globe.



As the Universe would have it, exactly 9 years and 3 weeks after my very first shift, in Sydney Australia, I entertained my last clients in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Making my journey as a traveling Stripper, through 11 cities in 4 countries across 3 continents, a complete twerk around the globe.

The end of an era.


Since I last posted via my personal social media, I have run the gamut on feels about my pandemic induced retirement. And trust me it did not look like this.


In the depths of my grief, I found myself completely disconnected from my sparkle and the things that brought me joy. Some might say I had an existential crisis (or 3) and a resulting touch of the ol’ depression.

I even wore all black. Without irony and not a rhinestone or hint of gold in sight.

ME. WEARING ALL BLACK.


It only happened twice. But still.


As if the emotional and mental ick wasn’t enough. I had a serious injury rear it’s ugly head in my hip. Apparently working jobs that require you to stand for long periods of time on hard surfaces since you were 15 come at a cost to your joints. As does regularly throwing your booty in a circle for years on end.


You know, the moping and sadness I could sort of handle. It being 2020 and all.

But a debilitating injury? OH HELL NO.


(Indignantly mounts high horse…)

I’ve been doing push ups and lunges for years. Sometimes I even have abs. My friends call me Butch Barbie and guess what?! Butch Barbie does not have trouble bending over to shave her asshole (j/k it’s lasered) or pick up the fucking dog… Which is also a new development since we last caught up!

His name is Desi, he loves bold prints and dry humping fuzzy socks. He was a stray and now he’s mine forever. But more on him later.


THE POINT IS…


I have been working through some shit and in the process have had some significant breakthroughs. Hashtag therapy.


I’ve also relaunched my website where all of my full posts (i.e. anything I share on social media that is longer than a few sentences, excluding this post) in all of their glory can now be read. Let’s just say the new TOS lit a fire under my ass to be more thoughtful about where my content lives. Y’all are resourceful and I believe you’ll find your way to the link at the top of the page when you’re ready to continue reading.


That aaaand,

I started writing my book. It’s in it’s very beginning stages, but ya girl is writing every. single. day.

All this while growing Paradise City Creamery into it’s second year (hair flip, finger snap!) and carefully yoga-ing my hip back to it’s full power-twerk-potential. If only for pleasure now.


Shoutout to all of y’all who regularly show love, share resources and have been here for a hot minute! (I grew up in the 90’s and I’m keeping that one.)


Thank you so much for being here. Xxo, Val ❤️💦


Photo: Angie Ortaliza

Street Art: Felipe Pantone

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