INTERNATIONAL WHORES DAY 2018

There once was a time when I didn’t identify as a Sex Worker. But then I woke up one day and realized,  All the money I earn, Which funds my livelihood and dreams, Almost always, Coincides with an erection. Crass? Duhhh. Shocking? LET’S BE REAL. It’s no secret that our famous aesthetic (lip gloss to camel toe,) Moves (hair flips to twerking splits,)  And smell (OHHH YOU KNOW THE SMELL,) Exists solely for SEXual stimulation, simulation and the promise of erotic possibilities in exchange for an agreed upon $um. Otherwise known as:  WORK. (See what I did there) AND Oooooo LET ME TELL YOU, It was a glorious day when I finally owned the fact that as a Stripper, I was covered under the Sex Worker umbrella. Because it changed my fucking life. Identifying as a Sex Worker allowed me to finally recognize and honor in it’s entirety, The full scope of the mental, emotional and physical Work it takes to do this job. VALID WORK. HARD WORK. And anyone who’s been a Stripper for more than 6 months knows that This job is so much more than showing up, looking pretty, acting horny and leaving with a ton of cash. Sure, some days are like that... And Goddesss knows I am incredibly grateful for them. However, by only celebrating and validating our most fun and lucrative days,   We are failing to acknowledge the full extent of the Work we do, Which can leave us feeling less than inspired  when it comes to demanding & fighting for our rights. It is through the internet and it’s available resources that a lot of us have come to find identity as Sex Workers  and In turn find community and support that has significantly changed our lives for the better. I march because I am anti-trafficking and pro-decriminalization. I march because I am one story on the privileged side of Sex Work who remembers what isolation feels like, Remembers what feeling powerless and hopeless when having my worker’s rights completely violated feels like, Remembers what battling internalized whorephobia, misogyny and shame in efforts to justify my Work feels like, I march because despite not always being aware of my classism, whorephobia and internalized misogyny, the door was left open for me to walk through, And when I did,  I was welcomed with open arms. I march because we are magic and The consenting services each industry covered by this umbrella provides are valuable and worthy of laws that protect us not eradicate us.

I MARCH BECAUSE I AM A SEX WORKER. 

Projection, Perfection & Pedestals

It seems like most of us out here in the Sex Worker internet-vortex, are just trying to make some noise,

Celebrating what we love,

Fighting for what we believe in,

And living life the best way we know how.

But truths change.

Lessons get learned,

And what makes sense and feels right one day doesn’t always the next.

Yes we are righteous Queens.

But even righteous Queens fuck it up.

And more importantly,

Fucking it up isn’t always the same as a mere difference in priorities and/or opinions.

Because we are diverse.

And oh yeah, HUMAN.

Supporting one another, believing in each other and wanting those we admire & love to succeed- helps make our complicated world more beautiful.

But lifting each other up and fixing each others crowns is very different than holding each other to impossible standards.

Standards that don’t allow for our diverse experiences and humanity to shine through,

Or our fuck ups to exist.

And I don’t know about y’all but that sure as hell isn’t the support, admiration or love I believe in or want in my life.

THAT is a trite projection of “perfection” that’s been systemically ingrained in us.

Shamed into us.

Through notions of “good”, “pretty”, “classy”,  “right” and “worthy” (to list a few,)

Bull-shit standards we internalize and have learned to resent ourselves for not attaining.

Yet, we project them onto others.

It’s almost as though,

If WE can’t be perfect,

Than the ones we celebrate and look to for guidance and inspiration sure as hell better be.

Or at the very least be the “right” kind of imperfect.

This isn't some rah rah, idealistic and unrealistic call to "love and support everyone!"

It's more of a reexamining on how we love and support, when we choose to. 

Pedestals are dangerous, conditional as fuck and serve no one. Least of all what we celebrate & collectively fight for.

Regardless of where we sit within privilege and/or the shit we had to survive to become the Queens we are today,

During these uncertain times of FOSTA/SESTA and in addition to holding down our Queendoms,

We’re all out here just doing the best we can with what we’ve got.

So can we please, for the love of all that is flashy, trashy and right in the world-

Give ourselves and each other a fucking break?!!!

Lest we forget,

Perfection is basic and nobody has time for that shit.

Side Hustle Salute

Cheers to all you Queens investing serious time, energy and money in a side hustle that you plan to one day replace your main hustle. I’ll bet my ass that proper days off (when you’re not devoting mental, emotional or physical energy to either gig) are few and far between. Which means every time you strap on your Pleasers and grind the night away, you’ve worked a double. THIS IS NO SMALL FEAT. Lord knows that Stripping may be fun, But it ain’t easy being easy. And for all the time, energy and money spent on that new hustle...

(That- I believe in my skills, my vision and myself so much that I’m going as hard as I can while I can, even tho it hasn’t turned a profit, yet, because I know this will position me to where I want to be next- hustle) ...You’re taking away from the time, energy and money once solely reserved for the NECESSARY self care and preservation required as a Stripper. But alas, there are only so many hours in a day. And you ain’t Beyonce. Yet. I SEE YOU AND I FEEL YOU. I feel the frustration of working twice as much for what only seems like half the validation. AND I feel how not being able to measure growth/progress on a nightly or even weekly basis has got you regularly reassuring yourself that you’re on the right track. But please, do yourself a favor- Think back on 6 months ago to a year ago, And look at everything you know now that you didn’t then. Remind yourself how there once was a time when you didn’t gracefully glide in 7inch stilettos, OR Know the difference between a gift card and a black card, But ya do now! So brace yourself because Oooooooooo girl, Them next level career and money moves, THEY’RE COMING.

Happy Hustling, Xxo- Val