Fuck A New Year’s Resolution.

Because lets be real,

If there’s ever a day to reflect/honor all we’ve learned & accomplished in a year and then set intentions for how we’d like to improve and slay shit over the upcoming year,

It’s the day we were born. 

However, there are few things I love more than a good contradiction,

*Tacky gold EVERYTHING,

*Real Mint Chip 🍦 (not that dyed green shit), 

*A well executed hair flip...

AND

There’s a lot within the parameters of 2018 that I’m super proud of,

So what the hell?!

If have one 2019 resolution/mantra/whateverthefuck, it’s this:

(*raises last nights flask)

To going hard into the unknown.

To stepping away from things we’ve allowed to define us when they no longer work.

In spite of being uncomfortable/scared

Or worse,

Hiding behind logic to over rationalize why we shouldn’t make bold moves that have no supporting evidence will better serve us,

(exhale...)

But making them anyway.

Because we trust, really trust,

Our resourcefulness, resilience and honed skills as savvy hustling Queens,

That we will always fucking eat.

CHEERS TO FUCKING SHIT UP IN ALL THE RIGHT WAYS.

(*and now, time to decide of I’m gonna sleep this off✨🍄✨ or continue ride...)

- Xxo, Val

THINGS I’M SO FUCKING OVER

Discovering self proclaimed allies are really only interested in the “philanthropic” or “edgy” street cred they receive from their civilian friends for hangin with SW’ers but not truly invested in what it takes to back us up.

Facebook, Tumblr, probably Instagram next AND nearly every other self proclaimed *woke* company & person doing their part to “fight” sex trafficking-

Yet completely missing the mark

AND

Actually contributing to the problem by ignoring the voices of consenting workers, lumping coerced and consenting work/workers into one category (which increases stigma) and oh yeah, CENSORING US-

to name a few.

Indignantly feeling like we have to choose between celebrating our work/showcasing our pride

OR

Talking about the serious issues we face, because god forbid we are dynamic and complex..

GOD FORBID we are as equally joyous about our jobs as we are scared, infuriated and heartbroken by our lack of (or nonexistent) rights & protection, not to mention all the shit that goes on in the world against us..

GOD FORBID all of these complex feelings about our work coexist aloud (gasp), Without fear that we’re perpetuating “negativity” because we are all, rightfully, so fucking over defending our existence.

Because the popular narrative is always a sob story

and

We need people to know that we do our jobs for whatever fucking reason WE choose to do them..

I know I can’t be the only one feeling this...end rant.

Thank you for listening. -Xxo, Val

Using Your Stripper Skills In Your New Business. *Part 1

Lately I’ve been cracking myself up over all the things (big and small) that starting this new business is teaching me.

Though let's be real, before I get to laughing, sometimes I’m mad as hell.

And embarrassed.

Like really embarrassed.

Because starting something (anything) from zero/scratch/the very beginning,

Regardless of how accomplished you are with what you’ve previously done,

Regardless of how much you’re able to apply all of them learned life and business skills to these new ventures,

Is humbling af.

Because sometimes you fuck it up.

And that’s ok.

I love reminiscing about my Baby Stripper growing pains.

Back when I’d bomb so hard attempting a new move on stage-

Like oh damn, was that always a SPINNING POLE?!

or

Even more cringe worthy, learning to gracefully transition from sexy chit chat to sexy sales pitch.

(It’s bad when your potential customer starts shaking his head no as you’re mid sentence and gently assures you, “Honey, not today but you’re almost there.”)

I love reminiscing about those experiences because it reminds me:

1. To be gentle with myself. Because the only way to get really fucking good at something is to work through all the really fucking awkward moments. And as silly as we may feel at that time- eventually it passes, we grow and we move on.

AND

2. How being a newby is super exciting. Yes, you should be absolutely proud of the confidence it takes to put yourself out there. But you should be even more proud that by changing your routine you are changing your reality.

And that, that is some exciting and powerful shit.

Shout out to all you hustling Queens who feel me on the growing pains of making them next level, future moves.

Whoever said progress wasn’t a straight line sure wasn’t lying.

BUT WE’RE DOING IT!  

Emotional roller coaster be damned, let's keep being kind to ourselves and killin it.

Happy Hustling y’all!! Xxo, Val

*(I listed this "Part 1" because I suspect that I'll continually be applying my Stripper skills to this new business and as it unfolds will be inspired to share my 2 cents on it all. Till next time!)